That night. It is forever emblazoned in my mind. It is a memory I share with a few people, and yet our views are all so different.
It was a party on the far side of the reservoir. A pre-graduation party. Everyone was there. Maddy and I were there with Stephen. Kelly was there with her boyfriend, Jimmy.
I can only tell you about what I know happened that night. We (Maddy, Stephen and myself) arrived some time around 9:30pm. By 11:00pm there must have been about a hundred people in that field, and at least two kegs. My parents were out of town that night, so I left the party around midnight to go let the dogs out. My friend Tommy walked back with me.
I left Maddy with Stephen, told her I would be back in about an hour.
Tommy drove me back around 1am. I got out of his car and headed into the field towards the party. I ran into Stephen and asked him where Maddy was. He said she was off talking to Kelly.
I can’t lie, my jealousy kicked into over gear. I went off in the general direction Stephen had nodded and began to scan for my girlfriend and her ex.
I noticed her sitting a few yards back in the woods under a tree, Kelly’s arms around her. I was pissed. I went straight for the keg and downed two or three cups of beer. As I walked back to where Maddy and Kelly had been I passed Kelly leaving with Jimmy.
She did not seem like she wanted to be going with him. For a minute I felt sorry for her, and yet she looked like she was sorry for me. It’s guilt, I told myself, and the anger returned.
I continued into the woods to find Maddy stumbling away into the darkness. I followed her. I followed her through the woods. I tried to make sense of what had just occurred.
I found out bits and pieces, but mostly she just talked about how Jimmy had taken Kelly. I couldn’t even tell if she was talking in the literal present or the metaphorical past.
About halfway home she stumbled and caught herself on a boulder. As she sat there I was able to see her for the first time in some moon light. She was a mess. Here eyes were swollem, her hair was messed up, and she had a giant bruise forming on her upper left arm.
I couldn’t stay mad at her, I was too worried as to what had happened. She wouldn’t tell me. She said it wasn’t important. She was honestly primarily distraught over Jimmy and Kelly.
The way she was talking I thought maybe Jimmy had caught them doing something in the woods and hit her.
She was so lost that night, I thought she would just walk into the water or wander into the night. I realized that night that I loved her, in ways I had not yet known or even understood.
Yeah, all that, and still I guess we technically broke up that night. Looking back at the worlds that collided that night, and the rippling effect of those collisions breaking up seems like it was the simplest and most uneventful portion of the night.
We went home that night. She spent the night with me at my parent’s house. They weren’t home, so I brought her into the master bathroom and sat her down in the tub.
We didn’t really talk once we got inside. I just ran a warm bath for her and helped her into the tub.
She didn’t take off her clothes at first. She just sat in the tub, curled up, and cried quietly.
I consoled her as best I could without words. As she calmed down, I helped her out of her clothes.
I did see a few more bruises. She saw me looking at the on on her leg and she just started crying again, so I left it alone. Whatever had happened, was over. I just wanted to make her feel safe.
[...] I have agreed to take questions about that summer night right before graduation. I will answer what I [...]